Monday, December 29, 2008


Tidings of Comfort and Joy

God rest ye merry, gentlemen, let nothing you dismay,
Remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas Day;
To save us all from Satan’s power when we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy;
O tidings of comfort and joy

Now to the Lord sing praises all you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas all others doth deface

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy;
O tidings of comfort and joy

God bless the ruler of this house,
and send him long to reign,
And many a merry Christmas may live to see again;
Among your friends and kindred that live both far and near—

That God send you a happy new year, happy new year,
And God send you a happy new year

These are only a few of the verses of this old Christmas carol.
The words TIDINGS OF COMFORT and JOY popped right out at me as a glanced at a book lying on my table this evening.

Our family had such a terrify experience this year when my little grandson died so suddenly that I thought this is what we all need right now. COMFORT and JOY. In truth we already have it. We can take comfort in the fact that Jesus was born on Christmas Day. We shouldn’t be dismayed because we have the belief instilled in our hearts that Jesus came to save us all.

This life on earth is so short. It is with our faith in hand that we can have JOY because we know that life doesn’t end. Our earthly bodies fade away, but our souls will be taken to be with our Lord.

So with my heart and hand I wish

That God send you a happy new year, happy new year,
And God send you a happy new year

Words truly written from heart to yours,
Pam ( mostly known as ‘ma’)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

My beagle summer of 2008

He loved sitting in his chair at the camper

This is last winter when we had a huge snow storm

His favorite place to be

Or maybe this was his very favorite

He loved the sunshine!
We said good bye today - he will always be remembered.
Getting old is not easy
Saying Good bye
is even harder.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


When I read this poem I decided it was a very good philosphy to live with so I've put in my journal today so that I'll remember it and try as it says to rejoice in what was .

Old age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably
for the first time in my life,
the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body!
I sometimes despair over my body ...
the wrinkles, the baggy eyes,
and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback
by that old person that lives in my mirror,
but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends,
my wonderful life, my loving family
for less grey hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself,
and less critical of myself.
I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie,
or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly
cement gecko that I didn't need,
but looks so avant-garde on my patio.

I am entitled to overeat, to be messy,
to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this
world too soon; before they understood
the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play
on the computer until 4 a.m.
and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes
of the 60's, and if I,at the same time, wish to
weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body,
and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to,
despite the pitying glances from the bikini set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten .
and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one,
or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet
gets hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what give us strength and
understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile
and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough
to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful
laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died
before their hair could turn silver.
I can say "no", and mean it.
I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question,
I like being old.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here,
I will not waste time lamenting what could have been,
or worrying about what will be.
but will continue to rejoice in what was.

author unknown

Monday, November 24, 2008

DS#3 with his youngest son, my precious little grand son that passed away

November 22, 2008

We experienced such joy at my grandson's birth and celebrated his baptism and his 1st and 2nd birthdays and he gave us all such joy. He will never be forgotten even though he can no longer celebrate with us.

Every mother wishes she could take away any pain that might come their child's way and I still do ...I wish I could....

if I could I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes

give you courage in a world of compromise

yes, I would if I could

I would teach you all the things

I've never learned and

I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned

yes, I would if I could

I would try to shield your innocence from time

but the part of life I gave you isn't mine

I've watched you grow,

so I could let you go

if I could I would help you make it through the hungry years

but I know that I could never cry your tears

but I would if I could

yes, if I live in a time and place where you don't want to be

you don't have to walk along this road with me

my yesterday won't have to be your way

if I knew I would try to change the world

I brought you to and there isn't very much that I could do

but I would if I could

oh baby I just want to protect you

and help my baby through the hungry years

'cause you're part of me

and if you ever ever ever need

I said a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to

I'll be there, I'll be there

I didn't change your world

but I would if I could ...

Words from a song by Celine Dion

To my son from my heart

Friday, November 14, 2008

Thoughts on a quiet Friday evening...

Life is a highway
On which the years go by…
Sometimes the road is level,
Sometimes the hills are high…
But as we travel onward
To a future that is unknown
We can make each mile we travel
A heavenly stepping stone.

Helen Steiner Rice

Father, as I travel life’s highway help me to keep the road in excellent traveling condition through constant observation and necessary repairs.
Assist me in observing all signals and avoiding dangerous curves and detours

I’m on my way to Route 65 this year. Next year I’ll be there and it’s proving to be quite a disturbing thought to me. At 50 I didn’t feel old and had plenty of energy and at 60 I had a slow day once in awhile and bounced back to spur onward. At 64 + I have more slow days than not and the road is bumpy for me.

I hear about lovely ladies in their 80’s and all their accomplishments and that gives me hope as I want to be active and enjoy life. The trouble is that more often than not, I just do not enjoy the things I used to.

I cruise along each day and travel the distance required, but I’m always on the lookout for something new or unique. Like the full moon half hidden by the clouds this morning or the geese in the farmer’s field on the way home. I would rather spend an hour watching the sun set than watching the television.

I look in the rearview mirror going down the road and wonder how I’ve managed to travel so far and still not know exactly what I’m meant to do. I had real purpose when my family was all home and even though I’m enjoying a soft cushion of living a solitary life, it often seems that there is still more I’m meant to do.

I have a feeling that just down the road and over the hill are a few more things I am meant to accomplish. I guess I’d best keep fueled up so I’m ready.

Often your tasks will be many
and more than you think you can do
Often the road will be rugged
and the hills insurmountable too
But nothing in life that is worthy
is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it
And you have the faith to believe
For faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God’s wisdom and will.

Again by Helen Steiner Rice

Written from my heart to yours,

Pam (mostly known as ma)

Sunday, September 21, 2008


Brain bloat is the result of too much stuff in the head.

That's why it takes 50 or 60 years of input

before the forgetful symptoms begin manifesting.

After all those years of cramming stuff into your head,

it finally begins overflowing like a water glass

unable to hold another drop

without shedding something already there.


I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

 Author Unknown

As summer is ending very soon, I thought I’d best do a post here in this journal. I’ve experienced some very different joys, triumphs, sorrows and yes, even defeats this year.

I was just about as joyful as they come when camping season began. The cold and bleakness of winter had just about done me in.

I celebrated many triumphs as I loaded and packed up things for the camper. It wasn’t always easy to hull all that stuff to the car and then unload it once I got there, but I did it!!!

It was sorrowful only in the fact that my camping partner wasn’t there to enjoy it all with me. My DDH loved camping even more than I did. Yet I have many fond memories to tide me over til we meet again.

Defeat hit me in the knees. I was looking forward to hiking around and getting lots of exercise but the knees complained loud and strong so instead of exercise I got some well needed rest. I usually am so relaxed when I get home on Sunday evenings that it is very hard to get back in the working mode once more.

I was blessed by having all my children join me for one weekend at the campground. It’s so very hard to get them together and I was thankful they all took the time out to come. A family reunion it was. I loved seeing my grandchildren all together too.

The children I am camping with have been so good to me all summer. I wouldn’t be able to be there at all if it wasn’t for all their help. We each have our own trailers that sit in a row on joining campsites so I can truly say I’ve been blessed with the best neighbors ever this summer.

Only 4 more weeks of camping and then I’ll be home busily preparing for the holidays. I’ll never forget what a wonderful summer it has been.

Truly written from my heart to yours


Pam (mostly known as ‘ma’)


Years should be nothing to you.

Who asked you to count them

or consider them?

In the world of wild Nature,

time is measured by seasons only-

-the bird does not know how old it is-

-the rose-tree does not count its birthdays!

Marie Corelli

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


ON ROUTE 65--choices


Every choice has certain benefits. And every choice has its costs.

If you are willing to bear the costs of a particular choice in order to enjoy the benefits, then go ahead with it.

 If the costs are too high for you when compared to the benefits, then move on and find another, more appropriate choice.

When you adopt an attitude that life, or the world, or your community owes you something, you set yourself up for extreme disappointment. Realize instead that you are already living in a universe filled with abundance, and that creating meaningful value out of that abundance is up to you.

No matter who you are, where you are from, or what you have, a life of fulfillment requires personal effort, commitment and integrity from you.

It is through making continued positive choices that you line up life's abundance in ways that uniquely express your visions and values.

Every moment is a choice, and every choice is an opportunity to build real and meaningful value in your life. Your choices enable you to direct efforts so that those efforts add up to something great and desirable.

Through the choices you make, you have the power to access the very best of life. Choose often, choose wisely, choose with the highest intentions, and your choices will take you precisely where you wish to go.

Ralph Marston

I was looking for a pick me upper the other evening and the message above is what I found. Every choice has benefits and costs for sure.

My camping adventure cost me some big bucks for sure. I made the choice as I wanted to do something meaningful and something that would bring me joy.

 If I’d put the money into my house or left it safe in the bank…it would be wasted. Who knows if I’d live long enough to enjoy it. My house has what is needed and to make it better would be nice, but there is no one there to enjoy it but me and the critters and we are pretty satisfied with the way it is.

If the cost gets to high for me to continue this lifestyle…camping that is…then I’ll have to move on but for the present all is paid and accounted for so I’m going to enjoy what I can.

 Being away every weekend is putting some pressure on me to get things done around home and with the nice weather coming that means there will also be yard work to do and the extra hours on the weekend is when I used to get things done around here.

I realized that I’m already living in a universe filled with abundance, and that creating meaningful value out of that abundance is up to me.

What I’m doing does sound a little self centered for sure and I know that there are starving people in this world and that makes me think sometimes I do not deserve such pleasures. This is the part I need to ponder.

 The sub title I’m giving to this year is ON ROUTE 65. I’m moving right along on my journey to age 65 . I found the title in an ad for insurance. It caught my eye and so I’ll use it for ROUTE 65, 66, 67….or how many ever years there are to follow in this journal.

Your choices will take you precisely where you wish to go.

There was never a truer word spoken for sure. We do make our lives what they are. I complain that I don’t like the job I do, but I choose it. I never planned to work at all so there you have it…

I hope to add more soon as I’ve sadly neglected this journal and I really want to put down what happens to me in the next 20 years. It will be a different season of my life and I’m not sure yet what it will bring.

 Words truly written from my heart,

Pam (mostly known as ‘Ma’)



Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.

Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain)


It’s been quite awhile since I made an entry in this journal. It’s been a long cold winter in Northern Ohio and I’m afriaid I’ve not had a lot of encouraging thoughts. Plans for camping seem like a dream far off in the distance. This entry is about my camping.

Two of my children and their families started camping together a good number of years ago and I always had fun going to visit them on a Saturday or Sunday, but truth be told I longed to stay there with them. The trouble was I had no camper.

I did have one years ago, but had to give it up when my husband died as I could no longer afford it. The years immediately following his death were very lean indeed and I had all I could do to keep the family and our home going.

He’s been gone now 15 years and all of my children have gone on to be adults with their own homes and families. Finally, I have the luxury of thinking about myself and what I’d like.

Having a little nest egg set aside it was hard to decide how to spend it. I could get new furniture or carpeting or I could save a little more for a new car or I could buy a camper. I thought about it long and hard and made the decision to buy the camper.

The reality of not being able to retire next year as I’d hoped really hit me hard and so as a little compensation I’ve rewarded myself with a place to go that I’ll enjoy .

The nice part is that I’ll be camping alongside some of my children so if I have any problems they’ll be right there to help.

Children are of great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us get there much more quickly than we otherwise would.


If I have an opportunity to do something new and different, will I regret not having done it? Will I regret having played it safe and not having taken a risk? And on my deathbed (assuming there will be such a thing) will I regret not having done the new and exciting and different and having settled for the safe and convenient?

I know I won’t regret my decision and I certainly do plan to enjoy the camping season. I just hope I don’t get in the way of my children having fun…sometimes you act a lot different with your mother around…and I don’t want to spoil their fun. I’ll try not to be on top of what they are doing all the time so they can enjoy themselves.

If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles in the backside, you wouldn't be able to sit down for two weeks

I don't want to face disappointment later in life because I was afraid to take a chance and sail into uncharted waters. I am beginning a new season of my life. I don’t recall ever just thinking about myself. It’s going to be very interesting this next 20 years.

A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.

William Shedd

Written from my heart to yours,

Pam (mostly known as ma)